My God how many times I was so disappointed with myself for procrastinating!

The more I delayed, the more upset I would get, the more timelines would be pressuring me, the more stress I had and the more I felt like it was the only way that I would ever get things done. Pressure!

No way! Can't be right! 

My body was always operating from a place of fight or flight response. Adrenaline, hyper-focus, of course it works great but in the long-term it is horrible to live with this.

Constant shame and forcing yourself. Having to be the bully! It's exhausting and requires so much force to do anything! Fighting against yourself with anything you do.

At one point I had enough! No more bullying! To be the bullier and the bullied in one same body is horrible! It is like living two lives at once and none of them is good.

I don't believe in laziness. I don't believe that we are choosing to be "bad" and we have to force ourselves to live this life. Life is not meant to be this way! Somewhere we just got lost, because everyone is feeling this way. 

If you can't do something, something that you really want to do or need to do then there is something blocking you. There is always a reason. There can be fears, sadness, anger, joy anything that you don't have the tools to understand because they might be buried deep in your subconscious to protect you in the past.

Fight-flight-freeze-pawn response often being the perpetrator. Without us knowing why or how. So the only way to come out of that is to start let go of shaming ourselves. 

1. Accept that it is your response to something and it is not your fault.

2. Soothe yourself in the process of still responding like this and using it.

3. Ask yourself what is there that needs to be felt.

4. Be present in your body and thank anything that comes up.

5. No judgement.